Authentic Coaching Services offers coping and interaction strategies for dealing with people who push our buttons.
"If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything." – Mark Twain
Eight Simple Steps
Step 1: Before an encounter with the other person, note your anticipations, apprehensions, and expectations of the encounter, as well as perform a gut and body scan. Since your body is quicker to be aware than your cognitive mind, check how uncomfortable you are feeling or starting to feel. If you are beginning to feel discomfort, give it a number (subjective units of discomfort from 0-10). Step 2: Before beginning the encounter, plan ahead to not ask or answer questions of why, nor defend anything! Step 3: Keep in mind to present no resistance – no friction – no matter what you get from the other person. Step 4: Be genuine. Actively listen, mirror, and paraphrase what the other says. Empathize and reflect what the other person seems to be expressing. Step 5: Close yourself off from vulnerability by watching the interaction from the outside through observation of the other's provocations. Deliberately communicate only what you hear from the other person. Step 6: If you choose to respond, state your position one way and "broken record" it until the other hears it. It will almost certainly frustrate and anger the other person, but stay centered and don't give up. Step 7: Concentrate your attention on the other person's message except for your one statement of how you are thinking or feeling. Step 8: Maintain a no-friction stance without offering agreement with the other person's position, attack, or manipulation.